| Once he sobered up a little, Uncle Crimbo moved his mobile home to the center of Crimbo Town, and set out to fill his brother's shoes. Unfortunately, he filled those shoes with peppermint schnapps, and emptied them just as quickly. The elves pleaded with him to at least use a glass, but Uncle Crimbo said the leather improved the flavor.
Uncle Crimbo was as good at getting stinking drunk as he was bad at everything else. While Father Crimbo had always treated the elves like his own children, Uncle Crimbo treated them like little more than slave labor. The cheery elven workshop became a hazardous, filthy sweatshop. He kept the elves from revolting by turning his flying reindeer into a jack-booted gestapo force. Any elf who spoke up against Uncle Crimbo could count on getting a candy cane to the kneecaps.
One reindeer, though, was disgusted by these new reindeer games, and set about organizing the elves in secret. This reindeer's name was Rudolph the Red, and he helped the elves to organize a union to fight back against Crimbo's tyranny. The labor disputes ended in a strike: the elves left the workshop and took up arms against the reindeer. Toy production ground to a halt, and it looked like Crimbo was over for good.
But Uncle Crimbo had a few cliches up his sleeve. As Crimbo Day approached and Uncle Crimbo's magical power increased, he made the unprecedented move of opening Crimbo Town to adventurers. He explained to the adventurers that he needed help ending the labor dispute, and that the quickest way to do so was to beat the elves into submission. Adventurers poured into Crimbo Town to fight the elves, steal their toy-making raw materials, and deliver them to Uncle Crimbo so he could make presents.
What Crimbo didn't anticipate, however, was that just as many adventurers were sympathetic to the elves' plight. These adventurers picked up picket signs and joined the strike line, doing battle with the strikebreaking reindeer. Eventually, Crimbo was forced to admit that his tactics weren't working, and returned to the bargaining table.
The elves and Crimbo eventually hammered out a new contract, and the elves went back to work, just in time for Crimbo to deliver some hastily-assembled presents to every adventurer on Crimbo Eve. All seemed well in Crimbo Town -- but all was not as it seemed.
Part I : The Story Thus Far
Part II : The Elfretariat
Part III : The Halloween Incident
Part IV : Crimboween
Part V : Where in Time is Uncle Crimbo?
Part VI : Once You Go Blackstory, You Never Go Backstory
Part VII : A Polyhedral Harbinger
Part VIII : Rise of the Crimborg
Part VIIII : A Black and White Crimbo
Part X : One More Indecent Accident
Part XI : Of CRIMBCO and Hobos
Part XII : I Want Candy
Part XIII : Dreaming of a KAWAIIII Crimbo
Part XIV : Cyborg Bears? Sure Why Not
Part XV : Factory Complexities
Part XVI : A Tale of Two Things That Happened documentation home |